Great Date Guide #2 - When We Are Apart!

Married Life provides Great Date Guides to give couples step-by-step instructions designed to get them talking, laughing, connecting, and out the door! So put a date on the calendar and use this guide for helpful ideas. For more marriage resources - visit Married Life!

When We Are Apart

You did it! You made the time to go out on a date. You could be spending time with people from work, with your kids, with (fill-in-the-blank). But you got crazy, you made time to be with each other, only with each other. You made time to have FUN with your spouse. Well done!  

Here are a few suggested ground rules to make the most of your time:

  1. Do not talk about money, kids (if you have them), in-laws or any other potentially relationally deadly topics. If this feels awkward, you are not alone. That is why you are doing this. 
  2. Reconnect 
  3. Recharge 
  4. Relax 

Get Ready

Kissing your spouse before you depart for the day and when you reconnect at the end of the day is a great habit. We are going to crank that up a bit for this particular date. 

Every time you move from one section to the next, give your spouse a 30 second smooch. If you’re the private type, then find a way, a place and make it happen . . . we know you can. 

Also, because you have an adventure before dinner, you may want to leave earlier.

Go Out

Before dinner select a store to buy your spouse a $2 or less gift. Once in the store, separate. You have ten minutes to purchase a gift and meet back at the entrance of the store. Exchange gifts on a nearby bench or in the car. On the way to dinner tell your spouse why you picked that gift.

During dinner ask and answering the following:

  • When we were dating and we were apart, we stayed connected by_____________________ and ____________________
  • Since we have been married, one of the times I felt most connected with you—when I was not with you—was when you ____________________.

Staying connected during the day can be challenging. We have other people and responsibilities demanding our time and attention. How we want to stay connected may look different for different people. 

Fill the blanks to let each other know how you would like them to connect with you during a typical day. 

  • This is the best time(s) to connect with me_________________________.
  • This is the best way to connect with me (phone call, text,)___________.
  • How I like you to connect is (rank the following)
    • Fun
    • Flirting
    • Encouragement
    • Making plans
    • Other

Tips on Tipping:

  • If you are in a tipping situation, make Jesus look good and tip well. 
  • If a comment card is available, leave positive feedback about your server. (If you pick up food at the grocery store, leave a positive comment at customer service.) 

Dare Me

When you get home, wives go inside alone. Guys, in 5 minutes, go inside. Now both of you act like you have not been WITH your spouse in a month. 

Keep It Going

  • Swap phones and change your ringtone. Now when you call your spouse, you will be reminded of this great date. (If this date wasn’t good, keep dating until you have good one—then date some more.) 
  • Choose a couple whose lives involve a lot of not together time, (work, school, kids, etc.), and send them this date tomorrow. 
  • Share a fun dating couplie (selfie with two people) on social media by using #MarriedLifeSoutheast.


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Be sure to sign up for Married Life to stay informed and receive the Married Life Newsletter and Great Date Guides. Visit the Married Life website

Jason McBride

Southeast Christian Church, 9650 Jordan Road, Parker, CO, 80134, United States