With the Married Life Newsletter, each month you receive ideas and insights with go-and-do's you can actually go and do. So pick one, two, three of the things below and see how little things can turn into something big! You got this...because you are better at marriage than you think!
A Surprising Predictor of Marriage Success
by Les and Leslie Parrott
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 2:29
Did you know that how you talk about each other to your friends and family and even strangers can predict your success as a couple?
That’s what researchers at the University of Washington in Seattle report. A ten-year study followed 95 couples beginning six months into their marriages. The initial hour-long interview together probed their relationship, their parents' union and their philosophy of marriage.
More than what was actually said, researchers noted whether they expressed fondness and admiration for their partner, if they talked about themselves as a unit, if they finished each other's sentences, referenced each other when they told a story, and whether what came to mind was pleasant.
Turns out that couples characterized by these ways of talking about one another and their relationship are far more likely to enjoy life-long love.
In fact, with this information alone, researchers can predict with 87% accuracy whether a couple will end up divorcing.Think about that.
How you talk to others about your spouse and your relationship is a huge indicator of the state of your union. Even within just the first six months of marriage, the signs become pretty clear.
The authors of the study found that couples who endure talk to others about their spouse as if they are wearing “rose-colored glasses." Those who will divorce talk to others about their spouse with cynicism. How can this be?
It comes down to how our attitudes shape the way we view your spouse. If you give public praise to others about your spouse, you will inevitably look more favorably upon him or her yourself. You will discover a deeper appreciation for your partner than you had before. In fact, the more opportunities you find to talk positively about your partner when he or she isn’t present, the more likely you are to increase your loving attitudes and behaviors toward him or her.
In other words, what you say about your spouse, for good or ill, shapes the way you think, feel, and act in your marriage.
As you review the past 48 hours, how would you characterize the way you talk to others about your spouse or your marriage?
UPCOMING MARRIAGE WORKSHOP AT SOUTHEAST!!!
This workshop equips you with tools to prepare for, improve, or repair your marriage by creating a relationship that is dynamic and satisfying! This format is designed for couples that are dating, engaged, or married. You will learn essentials for creating a thriving, healthy marriage. Some of the topics covered include:
- Effective communication techniques
- Conflict resolution strategies
- Creative and engaging date night suggestions
- The personality profile of you and your partner
Friday, Sept 16 from 6:30-9:00pm and Saturday, Sept 17 from 9:00am-2:30pm
Cost is $75, but first 50 couple can register for $49. Register at https://www.myrelationshipcenter.org/marriage-project/couples/
HE SAID/SHE SAID
Each month, we highlight a couple we think has something great to say. We give them one question to ask each other. This month’s couple is Jamie and Adriana Howard. Jamie is web developer and Adriana teaches drama and creative writing. The two have co-created a blog as well. The couple recently bought their first home.
WE ASKED JAMIE AND ADRIANA, WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER IN THE PROCESS OF BUYING YOUR FIRST HOME OR RENTING YOUR FIRST PLACE?
Jamie: During the process, Adriana displayed her proactive side in a way that I hadn't seen before. When I was burnt out with the entire process, she pushed us both to continue to ask questions and dialogue.
Adriana: I was incredibly grateful for Jamie’s ability to quell my anxieties about the whole thing, even if it required him to push past his own insecurities and “act” more calm and convinced than he was feeling. And with Jamie constantly pointing us back towards Jesus and reminding me that God had us—even when Jamie might have been in need of that assurance himself—it was easy for me to trust the situation.
Talk About It - WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER IN THE PROCESS OF BUYING YOUR FIRST HOME OR RENTING YOUR FIRST PLACE?
Grab a sticky note, fill in the blank below, and put it in a place your spouse will find it (e.g., washing machine, steering wheel, bathroom mirror, etc.). Take a picture of the note and upload it to the social media outlet of your choice, and include #MarriedLifeSoutheast.
I'd like to take you to ______________________.
Each month we want to share a good post with simple things that can dramatically impact marriages. Check out this post...
Dynamic Duo - by Tim Walker
Each month, we will bring you one tip that will hopefully bring you closer in the bedroom...or keep you from drifting a part. This month, we want you to hear from Scott Kedersha. Scott is the Marriage Ministry Directer at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX.
One Of The Best Decisions We Made In Our Bedroom
As a single guy and for the first 11 years of our marriage, I had a television in my bedroom. I rationalized this decision under the excuse that I/we don’t watch a lot of television. But then a few friends lovingly challenged Kristen and me to get rid of the TV in the bedroom. I argued, made excuses and rationalized, but finally decided to get rid of it.
Do we regret it? Not at all. Here are 9 reasons why we are glad we got rid of it.
During one meal this week, ask each other this question:
Which would you like most: a summerhouse, a year-long vacation or a boat?
CHECK IT OUT
The best gift you can give your spouse is a healthy you—healthy spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. Consider exploring a new resource to invest in a better you.
Great Book - The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Every marriage can use great resources - Be sure to forward this to another couple!!! And be sure to tell others about Married Life.